flying without wings

a girl with an eating disorder trying to become perfect and at the same time trying to be loved.

i’m back!

had to take a break from this blog but now i’m back and really trying to reach my goal. during this time i have gained maybe 1 kilos but now i really want to lose those final 5 kgs..

tomorrow i’m moving back to my hometown and gonna live with my parents again.. it’s gonna be awful! i have a summer job, i’ll start working at 8-9 am and finish around 4pm. i’m super worried how i’m gonna eat during the day and most of all how my stomach is going to work.. usually i wake up around 10am but when i have to get up early my stomach doesn’t work at all and i feel full and disgusting the whole day.. should i take some laxatives, any opinions???

trying to work out and do some sports more often! want to have more muscles in my arms (I WANT FIT ARMS) and lose that extra fat in my stomach and inner thights! going to start running again.. OMG so much to do, i really need your support and tips to succes!

My christmas challenge, I MADE IT! Next goal: 42kilos

so far so good. i ate ice cream at the evening but just a bit. i’m addicted to sugar and my body (and my mind) unfortunately really “needs” it. trying to get rid of my sugar eating habit, but i’ll try to do it step by step. otherwise i’ll end up eating a lot and probably start to binge…

my meal plan for tomorrow is:

pear and fat free yogurt, carrots. (at school if my stomach starts to make funny sounds)

a small salad=tomatoes, lettuce, sunflower seeds, little bit mozzarella (around 5pm)

black bread or porridge (at the evening)

then hot chocolate if i want something sweet. warm milk makes you feel full.

tomorrow morning i’ll step on the scale for the first time in a week. i’m scared, i think i have gained weight.

day one

yesterday was a failure, like saturdays always. all the others are eating chips, candies, fast food etc. during weekends. that doesn’t mean that i can do the same!

today my plan is to eat a salad (lettuce, tomato, sunflower seeds, little bit of light mozzarella and a small amount of peaches) at 1pm, then maybe a fruit at work, then when i get back home i’ll eat porridge (100 kcals). if i really want i can eat carrots and dried plums.

hope everything goes well !

(Source: whores-picking-berries, via )

this is me. i’m thinking that all this would be more personal and “real” if i show my face.

this is me. i’m thinking that all this would be more personal and “real” if i show my face.

My boyfriend keeps poking and squeezing my stomach fat.

hip-b-o-n-e-s:

I don’t think he understands how much that makes me hate myself.

today started so well, only ate two pieces of black bread (150kcals) and fatfree yogurt + a pear (150kcals). then i came back home and ruined everything.

Anonymous asked: hey! my tumblr name is boneandself :) I am definitely here to support you to lose those last couple kilos! please talk to me anytime you want some support, or even a friend :) good luck, you're so beautiful, so stay strong x

thank you so much! i had an awful day and your message really helped me :)

is it better to weigh yourself every morning, every second day or once a week? what do you do, what is your routine?

i weigh myself every morning but i think i could try to do it once a week to see the results more clearly. anyway it seems that my weight is 46,5 kilos (102.3lbs), feels impossible to lose more, i’ve tried.